10 Casual Commandments of Dealing with Fuck Buddies

Updated: Oct 14, 2020

How to get through a fuck buddy situation gone wrong

This is a step by step guide for you to stay on track or have a quick bounce back from a

“situationship” gone wrong.

1. Never Let Him Know How Good He Actually Is - Yes, he has good sex, and yes, you may find yourself being “dickmatized,” but he doesn’t have to know that. If you need to tell

someone, tell a friend or family member you trust, Jesus or Mirror Issa- look, I don’t know but

never give him the satisfaction. You run the risk of him using it as a weapon against you, and

power needs to be evenly disturbed when you aren’t in a relationship. I made the mistake of

offering too much affirmation and found myself at the mercy of said fuck boy.

2. If He Lives Far As Fuck Tell Him To Pull Up - If he got the money for gas, go, other than

that say hell no.

3. Don’t Be Too Available - I was way too available with no reciprocity. Healthy boundaries

are essential in a casual relationship to avoid the feeling of being taken advantage of. If

plans are made in advance and not followed through, don’t be so ready to be on call when

asked to get together with no notice.

4. Keep Feelings And Physical Completely Separated - Although all casual relationships

aren’t made the same, know they are not for the faint of heart. Managing expectations can

be tough. Be sure you aren’t expecting BF/GF behavior nor offering unsolicited girlfriend

perks. If you find yourself falling for your fuck buddy and he/she doesn’t feel the same, you

may want to consider ending it. Remember, relationship upgrades are available not included.

5. Listen To Everything You Hear And Believe Everything You See - If he says he doesn’thave a girlfriend, he doesn’t. If someone sends you a picture of him and a girl quite cozy together on a beach and you ask if he has a girlfriend, and he still says he doesn’t have a girlfriend, he most definitely has a girlfriend.

6. Don’t Barbara a Shirley Or Vice-versa- If by some chance you find your self in a situation where you became the other woman, just cut it off. Do not come to any woman as a woman, and don’t be a sitting duck waiting for baby girl to come find you. It’s too much drama for a situation that was intended to be fun. Let it go.

7. It’s Goin Hurt But Don’t Lurk- Whether you’re in the honeymoon stage of a casual sex

relationship or knee-deep in some shit that resembles the third act of a Tyler Perry play don’t

social media stalk that man. Everything you think you’ll find is there, Beloved. The tweets

about his secret relationship that’s not really secret anymore or the heart emoji’s from his

other partners - it’s all there. Don’t end up like me going down a social media rabbit hole and

accidentally liking the same picture of the alleged girlfriend twice. You’d have to block her and then feel bad because she seemed like a nice person, and under other circumstances, if

you weren’t sharing the same man, y’all would be cool.

8. Stop Telling Your Girls You’re Going To Stop Seeing Him - If things have gotten terrible and rule number one is your reality, stop telling your friends, “you’re done.” They don’t believe you, and neither does he. It’s going to take some time to ease your self off of

anything bad that feels good. Trust me when you’re done you won’t have to announce it.

9. Lead With Honesty - I struggled with this, and the lack of honesty was mostly with myself. I tried to ignore the feelings I harbored about the terms of our situation. I lied to myself, thinking I wasn’t catching feelings knowing damn well I was. I ultimately ended up censoring myself around the guy for fear of rejection or worse manipulation. I feared he’d know my position and use it to create elusive intent to just continue to get the sex. Whether that would happen or not, I still should’ve just been honest with my feelings regardless of the outcome. At the very least, I would’ve lived with minimal regret.

10. It’s Okay - It’s okay I got into a casual situation. It’s okay I caught feelings. It’s okay I caught feelings for a fuck boy. It’s okay I got disappointed. It’s okay if I need to take a break. It’s okay I’m not okay with how things ended. I learned what I needed to learn, and that’s okay.

Sherean, A Grown Ass Black Woman

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