A friend who gets NO benefits

Just friends with “I Love You” benefits? I guess we call that the “friend zone”, right?

Over the years I’ve had a couple of relationships that didn’t last. But, we didn’t end on bad terms. Hell, I don’t even remember why the relationships ended.

However, we remained friends. Good friends!

Friends that say, “I Love You!”

Friends with benefits that exceeded far beyond sex (at least in my mind).

Friends who I would be there for no matter what time of day it was. But, would they be there for me in the same capacity? Not even a little bit…

“I love you” they say! “I’ll always be there for you”, they say! “Call me if you need ANYTHING”, they say! But they don’t mean it! It just sounds good rolling off their good for nothing tongues.

They do just enough and sometimes not even that just to keep me around. I know these “friendships” are one-sided. I know they don’t benefit me as much as they benefit them but I can’t seem to break my vow. My vow to always be there. My vow to be there when they call for ANYTHING! My vow to LOVE them!

Is it loyalty? Am I just dumb? What is it that has me holding on so tight?

No, the sex wasn’t ever really all that with either of them. So that can’t be it… I mean I can’t even call either of them if I need to satisfy my sexual urges.

Not because I don’t want to, but because they won’t come.

The sex has to be on their terms. I’m supposed to be available when they call, but they don’t and are NOT available when I call.

This question brews in my mind on a daily basis. Wondering why I’m only good enough to be in the “friend zone” with NO benefits?!

Why can’t I call on them when I’m in need? Why can’t I simply (it’s not simple at all) just cut them off? A stronghold perhaps…

I’m at a point now where it angers me… I spend all my time meeting the needs of everyone around me. But, when it comes to my needs there is no one that I can count on.

I’ve stopped having sex altogether. Cause why in the hell should I spread my legs at their request when I can’t even get a damn “I’m just calling to check on you” phone call?

Signed, A friend who gets NO benefits!

La’Nika, A Grown Ass Black Woman

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