F*** Valentine’s Day.
There I said it.
Valentine’s Day is clearly the official day of love. Now, I’m not a hater of love because I love love. However, I don’t believe in love that is only shown when it’s expected and is going to get some sort of accolades.
Many women and men take weeks to determine what to buy, what to wear, what to eat, and how to make love all night for that special date: 2-14. February 14th has been known for centuries as the day for lovers, and I love seeing the hearts, the cute sayings on everything, and couples get ready for the holiday.
However, I’m wondering why we wait until this one day to send beautiful flowers, buy expensive chocolates, sign sentimental cards, and tell others how much we love them. Especially for Black women, we deserve Valentine’s Day energy everyday. We often are more forgiving, more understanding, and more compassionate than our counterparts, and we get EVEN LESS than everyone else.
Now, according to Britannica, Valentine’s Day started as a day where women were sold off to men in lottery fashion, but we aren’t going to talk about that because well…let’s just leave that alone. However, since the 14th century, the day has been used as a day to express lovethrough gifts and special events, and I’m finally learning that as a Black woman, we don’t seem to ask for what we truly desire, and we settle for whatever our person can do for us because we don’t want to seem like we’re asking for too much. We suffer and accept subpar acts of love to keep from looking greedy or selfish.
Well, screw that.
Black women should be showered with just as much love on September 14th as they are shown on February 14th. I know, I know…we should just enjoy the day and stop finding things to be bothered about. I agree that we can enjoy the day, but I also believe that we should be setting the standard that we desire and deserve to have the same February 14th energy provided to us every other day of the damn year.
There should be no reason why we can’t be loved, appreciated, pampered, catered to, listened to, romanced, and sexed down like we are on Valentine’s Day, other days of the year. That being said, there are Black women and men who are adored and pampered like it’s Valentine’s Day all year long, but there are far too many of us who are settling for the attention on Valentine’s Day that we deserve everyday.
When someone chooses to express their gratitude for your existence in their life, they should not be employing mediocre expressions of love every other day, and waiting for the day set by society to go above and beyond (while also posting pictures on IG as if they should be applauded).
My Black sister, you deserve to be loved and adored by someone who will go above and beyond for you regardless of the day…even if that someone is YOUR DAMN SELF. You can do this for yourself, and that will in turn, demand others to do the same for you. And if they can’t go above and beyond for you, they can move along.
As Black women, we have been convinced that one day of showing gratitude and appreciation for all we do is enough. Well, it’s not.
This same V-Day energy should be used more often during the year. And if we’re not getting that same energy, we’re doing ourselves a disservice.
So, as we all prepare for the big day of love, let’s also encourage those who love us to keep this same momentum after the day is over, they’re all sexed down, and things are back to regular programming.
If they aren’t sure how to show this type of love everyday, here’s a list of 10 ways they can put that same Valentine’s Day energy into every other day of the year:
They can make it a habit to encourage you to take time for yourself.
They can send gifts just because and make sure they are unique to your liking.
They can pay for a service to be completed for you on a regular basis.
They can support your endeavors regardless of how they feel about them.
They can pamper you based on your love language, not theirs.
They can take time to check on you, make sure you’re safe, and keep up with your health.
They can allow you to be yourself without judgement.
They can take time in choosing items you would enjoy even if it’s not a special day.
They can carefully plan times to focus on your satisfaction, enjoyment, and pleasure.
They can do the most as if it’s Valentine’s Day on random days.
Go sis, and demand that V-Day energy more often. You’re a Grown Ass Black Woman, and you should be treated like one long after 2-14 passes. Enjoy today and then ask for more days like that in March, April, August, and September.
Better yet, make every 14th day of the month love day and demand you get exactly what you desire and deserve.
Jarius Edens is a professional writer, content creator, soul seeker, and lover of all things energetic. She leads a new movement called Love Love Inergy.