Cater to Me or Move On: How Women are Voicing Their Desires

If you’re over the age of 12, you probably had someone tell you it wasn’t ladylike to share your true thoughts and feelings—-especially when it came to boys. You were supposed to bashfully endure whatever actions came from the person who liked you (or at least pretended to like you).

It more than likely started when you were 4 years old, and the little boy in your preschool class kept pushing you down. “They” told you not to worry too much because this was the little jerk’s way of showing you how much he liked you. You couldn’t tell him to stop, and you couldn’t tell him you liked him either. You had to endure the pushing in order to let the jerk know you liked him.

Then, you grew up and figured “pushing” you around was how everyone showed love. The pushing and shoving turned into ghosting you in high school (before you knew the term ghosting) or playing emotional games with you as a full 30-year-old adult.

And, even then, you couldn’t express your desires or disdain for this type of treatment. It was a hidden rule that girls were supposed to pretend not to want anything while at the same time express their desires with coy gestures.

Well….SHIT is shifting! That is for sure.

This last year in the decade is the year of the WOMAN. Women are choosing not to take the pushing and shoving anymore. They are releasing the nonsense and seeking relationships built on actual communication. Yes, you’re going to have to communicate your damn feelings, sir (or ma’am).

Women are no longer allowing potential suitors to passively approach them and infer how they would like to Netflix & Chill. It’s not going down like that anymore. The millennials (yes, they are 30+) are refusing to put their desires on the back burner for someone who can’t make a phone call, schedule a real ass date, nor effectively communicate.

Women are beginning to see their desires as the #1 priority in how they maneuver connections, friendships, and relationships. It hasn’t been an easy task for women to take back their voices in this world of “men come first”, but I’m noticing it happening more and more.

The collective of women between the ages of 25 and 50 are starting to put themselves first without much thought of whether or not they are following the “rules”. And, quite frankly, I’m excited to see this shift in the tides.

Here are a few ways I’m noticing the changes in how women see themselves, their desires, and their lives.

  1. They are saying if you can’t do it, move over. Women are becoming more vocal about moving on if someone can’t meet their needs. Twenty years ago, women would sit quietly and wish upon a star for their spouse or partner to please them, take them to the restaurant of their choice, or listen to their dreams and visions. Now, this is not the game women are playing. Women are asking for what they want and demanding it. If they can’t get what they desire, they are MOVING ON…and quickly.

  2. They are sharing their desires openly instead of hoping others will catch their drift. The days of beating around the bush to verbalize desires are over. Women are being clear, detailed, and unapologetic about their desires. I’m not talking about cars, jewelry, and clothes either. I’m talking about clearly expressing their values, standards, and needs in the workplace, home, and bedroom. Passive aggressiveness is so 2010, and women are choosing to be open and honest, whether others like it or not.

  3. They are saying cater to me because I deserve it, not because I did something great. Esteem is growing and self-worth is being valued more and more among women around the world. Women are no longer running their credentials by others before asking for what they want. They are simply vocalizing their desires with the confidence that they deserve what they want …no if, and, or but. The need to prove themselves worthy of honesty, pleasure, and love is no longer applicable to women. Prove myself? Not going to happen. Women are saying you can either cater to them or call Tyrone.

Now, this isn’t every woman because, as we know, every doesn’t apply to anything. However, for many women, this is the new path to freedom, happiness, and success. Women are changing the way the world runs by becoming their own advocate, cheerleader, and agent in this “man’s world”.

At the end of the day, it’s looking really good for the women living out their dreams and the girls who are watching them.

Jarius Edens is the lead writer for Blissful Empath. She is a ghostwriter and editor for Kreative Copy. She resides in Charlotte, NC.

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