Updated: Jun 3
I don’t know who this is for but, he doesn’t care Sis! Yes, that’s right. It was once good but now it’s not. Some people suffer from trauma and chaos that we will never know about. That trauma can cause someone to cope by “ghosting”, lying or more. We need to realize that it’s ok for us not to know why. If you’re dating or in a relationship, you willingly serve as a lover and friend; not a therapist.
You literally have to let that hurt go. Yes, their actions may be wrong. Yes, you may want closure but closure is a trap sometimes. One time as a kid I questioned my Mom’s authority. Her stern response was, “because I said so”. The conversation quickly ended and that was all that I needed to know and understand. Sometimes we need to realize the “because I said so” in our lives.
You know the relationship isn’t bringing you peace, romance, commitment or even given time. Release it. Let it go. If you’ve communicated your feelings on more than one occasion, there is nothing left to do. Let that partner experience someone else. They may have a change of heart, years down the line. Or they may not. Honestly, you may have molded someone to be a better partner for someone else. That’s ok too! Your love has to be genuine. I often pray for my “situation”. I pray that he comprehends my love but also that he becomes a better man. He may need to be that better man with someone else. It is what it is.
I know that social media can be a trap with all of those catchy memes and re-posts about bad relationships. I’ve fallen into that trap several times. But we need to realize that if someone truly cared, no post will make them suddenly realize what is now lost. Save yourself the time, trouble and energy; and focus on shifting into your new peace. I don’t know who this is for but it’s your time to have peace.
Writer, C. Scott, A Grown Ass Black Woman, mother of one; author, social worker, early literacy interventionist and entrepreneur.