Relationships are hard AF, but you know that already right? You have a whole nother person to consider; their thoughts, their feelings, their wellbeing, their mood swings, their flaws, etc. It can be discouraging AF when the vibe is off, things get rocky, and you're up at 3am crying into a carton of Ben & Jerry's wondering where things went left.
The bad news is, there's no real rulebook that can give you the game, play by play because everyone is different and every relationship is different. The good news is, this checklist below comes close to showing you how to keep your partner fucking with you the long way.
You can use these points below to work on building a relationship that's both positive and fulfilling and ensure that it stays stronger than a deacon's cologne on Easter Sunday morning.
Schedule regular dates with your partner. Do not do the same thing each time, you gotta shake shit up! Have a picnic, go to a zoo or amusement park, go camping, skating, ride bikes, go to the beach, have an ice cream date at the park, take a painting or cooking class. The possibilities are endless.
Not too creative? No problem. Leave your excuses at the door. Your relationship fucking matters. My husband and I recently signed up for Happily date box and get a complete date sent to us each month. I highly recommend that shit.
Ask your partner how his or her day was. Listen carefully while giving eye contact. Talk about some aspect of it. Actually listen to that shit! Listen to understand, not to respond. Keep all that fake shit, show them that you care about what they have to say.
Celebrate your successes… those you accomplish together and those you accomplish separately. Soo grab the crown apple or champagne or both and have a toast to the good life. Yall deserve to celebrate the wins (both big and small).
Laugh together. Share funny stories and inside jokes. Reminisce about fun times you've had, together and separately. Make new fun memories. Yall can even watch some TikTok videos together cause they be coming with the jokey jokes.
Praise your partner for their efforts. Compliment them on their appearance. Notice their new outfit or haircut. Say it with me now, "Baby, you look GOODT witcha fine ass!" Show your partner you are paying attention.
Learn to distinguish between an irritation and something worthy of a fight. Not all issues are deserving of major disagreement so don't even give them your energy. Learn to ignore or briefly discuss the small stuff, leaving serious conversations for the big stuff. Trust me on this one, that petty shit ain't even worth it especially if it's not bout to end in no make up sex! What's the fucking point?
Have casual and meaningful conversations. Listen when your partner talks. LISTEN. Baby, you got 2 ears and one mouth for a reason. You should be listening twice as much as you talk. Make sure you're still adding to the conversation but don't Debo it.
Communicate your needs and address your partner's needs. Be open and honest. Work together to find acceptable solutions.
Learn to compromise. It's not easy, but to make the relationship strong, there must be give and take. I used to always be a "you can get with this, or you can get with that, but this is where it's at" kinda person, damn near bullying my partner to choose my side but I've learned better so I'm telling you better.
Spend quality time together. Even an hour or two of uninterrupted time a week can make a huge impact on your relationship. Put that damn phone down, Instagram ain't fucking or financing you. And even if you are getting some Insta money, you still need to remember where home is.
Express gratitude for the things your partner does for you. A simple thank you ain't never hurt nobody. Throw in an occasional surprise or even just a note to let them know how much you appreciate them and watch how quick they get to eating the booty like groceries.
Use "I" or "We" statements when talking about concerns you have. "I feel lonely when…" or "I can't remember the last time we…."
Flirting is an appreciated action that often gets set aside after the relationship settles in. Rekindle the fire by flirting with your partner. Pop that titty out and send a "just because" nude, sis.
Make time for intimacy. Responsibilities and crazy schedules often leave us too tired to do more than eat, shower and sleep after a long day. Especially if you're home with a terrorist (read toddler). Baby trust, I get it but you still gotta prioritize your pleasure. Set aside some time each week for a little intimacy. Grab some shit from Revel to really get it on and poppin! Thank me later.
Good luck on your happily ever after, TEAM US, We ain't worried bout you relationship.
Narcisse, A Grown Ass Black Woman