Hurt people HURT people: We must heal!

Hurt people HURT people: We must heal!

I know, that sounds clique huh? Well, its the truth. 

The importance of healing your wounds before inviting someone to occupy your life is extremely important. It could mean the difference between healthy relationships versus unhealthy relationships.

It’s TRUE that we carry wounds from our childhood. And often times it isn’t until we’re grown that those wounds begin to open. And we aren’t always aware that the problems we’re having in our relationships and friendships are a result of childhood trauma. Be it sexual abuse, mental abuse, mistreatment from parents, etc.  

How we treat the people in our lives can often be a reflection of how we were treated or not treated in our childhood. 

My parents abused me, mostly mentally, but abuse nonetheless. I was sexually abused by a family friend as a child and by strangers as an adult. That opened the door for mental abuse in the same respect.

As an adult, I carried on in life not trusting anyone.

Why the hell would I trust people of the world when my own parents treated me like shit? 

Unknowingly, I sabotaged my relationships and friendships. I secluded myself because I thought, I won’t let myself down. I won’t abuse myself.

But guess what, I did let myself down and I did abuse myself.

I let myself down by thinking that seclusion was safe. I abused myself by telling myself that no one could be trusted. 

Boy was I wrong.

Once I began to experience life on my own, in a world where I told myself to trust no one, I strongly disliked my mother and hated my father, and relationships with men lead to trauma because of my insecurities.

I suffered a lot because I abused and mistreated my own mind, inadvertently creating the life that I desperately wanted no part of.

I thought I was protecting myself. Instead, I was causing more pain and trauma.

I made the decision that I needed help. I needed to HEAL so that I could stop being toxic. Yes, I was a toxic person in someone’s life. I wasn’t purposely toxic, but toxic nonetheless.

I began therapy and started to work through my trauma piece by piece. 

Now, therapy isn’t a quick fix. You won’t be healed overnight. However, you will heal. You will begin to tap into a more peaceful, healthier and meaningful life if you do the work that it takes to break free from what’s been holding you back. 


I’m still a work in progress. But, I am NOT where I once was. Between prayer and therapy, I am on my way to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

La’Nika, a Grown Ass Black Woman  

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