Keep Ya Damn House Clean

Updated: Jul 28, 2020

Cleanliness is next to Godliness and ain't nothing heavenly or holy bout no Hoarders inspired house. The older I get the more I love that feeling of accomplishment that comes with lighting a candle after you just straightened up a room. If that ain't the icing on the cake then I don't know what is!

I don't care what nobody say, you can't function or focus in filth. That's why it's so important to keep your space clean so you can get shit done.

Grab the Dawn, Mr. Clean, Windex, Lemon Pledge, Clorox, Pinesol, mop bucket and all the rags you can find cause baby, we got some work to do!

Here are a few tips for clutter-free living:

1. Set aside regular cleaning days. It's Saturday morning. You're supposed to have the kids up at the crack of dawn with Fabuloso filling the air and have Betty Wright singing bout a man or Yolanda Adams singing about THE man.

Clean bedrooms, bathrooms, fridges, pantries and motherfucking baseboards too. Shit, wipe the walls down like they're Trill Fam in 07.

Along with cleaning, get rid of things that are no longer serving you. If it's broken and busted ain't no sense in it being there.

Saturdays are my deep cleaning days but I do light cleaning on the nights before trash pick up too!

2. Send they ass outside. With kids it's a challenge, I know. I have 2 little crumbsnatchers of my own. Got an Elsa doll here, goldfish there and legos everywhere. Great news is, it's summer time now!

I just realized after all these years how my mama (read the genius) played the game and won. If you want to clean your house and keep it clean, buy a big pack of popsicles and send they ass outside.

3. Put that shit back. If you have it at home already don't go purchasing it again. You got pillows at home. What you need more for? You don't need nan nother . Use what you gave and then get more. It's a house not a warehouse! Channel your inner mama and tell yourself "no, you getting nothing!"

Even go as far as putting yourself on a budget and sticking to it.

4. Let go and Let God. You just gotta be hardheaded and buy something new. Replace it completely! That new love seat calling your name? Let the old one call someone else's. Stop holding on.

You know one man's trash is another man's treasure so donate that shit.

5. Everything has its place. Make sure you assign "homes" for items. For example, where do your keys go? Ya know, just in case your homegirl doesn't love you enough to buy you a key finder like mine did lol Your mail (by the way, go paperless when you can because the post office is unreliable and ain't nobody got time for unnecessary clutter)? Your cereal boxes? You better say they're on top of the fridge because anything else is uncivilized. Does your broom get a cabinet or nah? Do the store bags go up under the sink?

6. Don't your dare let those dishes pile up! Clean as you go because if you're anything like me, it's going to take 3-5 business days or Jesus to come back to get them done if you do. and invest in some Dawn Power wash because shit is magic with a sprayer.

Of course, these are just a few tips. Do you have any of your own tips you'd like to add for being more organized and keeping a clean house?

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