I feel like a whole brand new bitch. BUSSIN. Bitch, I'm bussin! I know for a fact that the new me didn't just pop up overnight but it damn sure feels like it. I woke up one day and decided the me that was in the mirror needed to stay her ass right there because she wasn't the bad bitch that I believed in my heart I was.
She wasn't this mystical, magical ass goddess that I promised my younger self I'd become. She was grown but she wasn't the grown ass black woman who I thought I was, not yet. I looked like somebody mama. I looked like what I had been through. I looked overworked and underpaid.
She wasn't worthy of a Disney movie or even a Lifetime biopic and in that moment I knew I had to shake shit up. I had to get to the ugly, accept and embrace the truth and get to the breakthrough.
Sure, I had a past of heartbreak, drugs, misfortune, greed and every other ingredient for a bomb ass testimony and transformation but I didn't feel like my now was juicy enough. Where's the after story that inspired and pulled at the heart strings like box braids getting yanked in a cat fight. I had grown content. I had gotten too damn comfortable. Being a strong black woman had me tired AF and everybody was happy; clients, kids, friends, etc. but me.
Hold my whiskey while I plot twist on they ass.
Now, I'm happier. I'm more excited to wake up in the morning. I celebrate each and every day. Again, I'm bussin. Bitch, I'm BUSSIN.
Looking back at the last 30 days I've noticed a drastic ass change and now that I feel I'm ready and worthy of a close up, somebody cut my damn check and you other somebodies keep reading to find out how.
Remove toxic ass people. Plain and simple, toxic people bring toxic shit. If you know better, you're expected to do better. And you know better than I know that certain people shouldn't be allowed on this journey with you. Don't even act like you didn't know that Brittney was blocking your blessings. Evaluate your circle and remove those who shouldn't experience this higher version of you and/or stunt your growth. You'll never level up if they're always around to bring yo ass down.
Write down your goals. Make that shit real. Not only that, being able to look back at what you've written into reality is satisfying AF and it encourages you to keep doing it.
Create a vision board. Mod podge that shit out. All the things you'd love to see manifest in your life should be represented on that poster. Dream as big as you please. Along with those pictures, come up with a solid plan to achieve those goals and becoming the person worthy of achieving those goals. And cut it out! Just cutting pictures ain't gon cut it, love. You know that! Faith without works is dead. Dead as a doornail.
Eat your fruits and veggies. A healthy share to keep your body all the way together but and ain't nobody telling you that you gotta be a damn vegan. Let me make that clear for your overachieving ass before you try to nail me to the cross when you see me going in on some smothered porkchops. If you choose to be vegan, that's ya business and this swine is mine.
Read for at least 1 hour daily. Gotta get ya mind right. Need some book recommendations? I got ya back, love. Click right here.
Workout for a minimum of 20 minutes every single day that the Lord has made. You can do it, put ya back into it. Put in the work. Although it would be nice to go to Miami to meet Dr. Miami, just think about how much more satisfying it's going to be knowing that you worked for that shit and you kept your bank in the bank.
No lie, one day I might just go with the move myself and go from BBW, sucking dry and eating lunch to BBL, sitting, reminiscing about how once upon a time I had a regular ass belly button so I ain't judging.
I ain't hating. I ain't mad atcha for not passing go, not collecting $200 and going straight under the knife. Either way it goes, I got love for you. Either way it goes, I need you to still drop and give me 50 squats.
No sugar. You know, just like you be telling your sugar daddy. Keep that same energy, love.
Do the shadow work. Research what shadow work is and actually take the time to work through your BS. Get to know your shadow self, accept your shadow and love your shadow.
Pray and meditate daily. Thank Him for all that he has done and continues to do in your life. Praise Him. And be still to hear guidance from the man up stairs and your spiritual guides. With your ancestors, your highest self, your shadow self, and your inner child, baby it's always a full house. You're never alone and you'll always know exactly what's best for you.
Drink a GALLON of water EVERY day. You gotta stay hydrated. You're grown, I shouldn't have to tell you how important water is so I'm not about to get on yo ass.
Take care of yourself. Put forth the effort to do your hair and makeup. Take more baths, instead of showers. Use all the things; the epsom salt, the bubble bath. Lotion and moisturize your skin. Wear scents that even turn you on. Last but not least, dress the part. If you won't show up for you, then who tf will?!
Get a new source of income. I just started Revel, check it out and shop. The whole new vibe has really helped with my shift.
Dassit. It's not hard, it's committing to you and doing the things that feel good to you.
Narcisse, A Grown Ass Black Woman